Time. And time, again.

I like red. There’s red and then, there’s red, and that latter is the one I like. Warmer, colder, brighter, darker… 0xFF0000 is my red. I didn’t always like red, I must admit. But it’s the color that worked.

Few people notice, but whenever I discuss something actually important, I talk in symbols and quotes, using references as words in a vocabulary that doesn’t fit into human language in hopes to convey meanings that it can never truly hold. Maybe it’s a side-effect of how I learned words, and it’s so easy to say, “that’s how it is”, but if it were that simple, if I could squeeze my worldview into a tiny word, it would distort space with it’s mass and fall through the floor.

That red is special. It is the color of fire that a fire never has, it is the color of blood, that the blood never is, it is the color of hope, that has no color at all.

But when I look at myself on the screen, I remember I still have it, somewhere, somehow, despite everything, that hope that tomorrow will be a new day, and that one day, after one more try, one more push, and one more sharp word, it will all actually work.

And I have the reddest hair in Second Life.

And I have the reddest hair in Second Life.

And then I fail.

And then I get up and try again in a different way.



As the sim slowly rezzed around me, and the textures turned from uniform surfaces of grey to dirty smudges of color, as the first prims appeared floating in the air where people should be, — I’ve turned those ghostly green clouds off months ago — and the sounds finally got cached, I almost fell out of my chair.

I reached for the amplifier and pressed the power button with a trembling hand. It was the sound of a million typewriters, clacketing on, flowing into a mighty, deafening roar, resonating all across the grid, a pervasive, inescapable noise, so loud and unnatural, that it does not get perceived as a noise at all, so when you turn it off, for a short while you can’t even tell if you still hear it or not.

The monkeys were working on “Hamlet”.